I had knee surgery

So I just had knee surgery today, for those if you who don’t know. I’m going to try and keep a running blog about my recovery because…well, it’s not like i have a whole of other things to do. Before I get into the details of today, I am first going to provide you with the acting will I wrote last night because I feel like it. Enjoy!

February 26th, 2010

To Whom it May Concern:

This document is meant to be used as an acting will. I understand that I do not have any witnesses to this document, but tough shit; I’m writing it.

In the event that I am to become comatose or incapacitated, I wish to be on life support for no longer than a period of 2 weeks. If I am unable to regain consciousness after this period of time, I wish to be removed from life support. In the event that I do regain consciousness, but have irreparable brain damage that makes me unable to be a working member of society (i.e. unable to communicate, unable to support myself without assisted living) I wish to have my life terminated. I do not want to be a vegetable.

In the event that I do die, the following information details how to get in contact with friends as well as how I would like the disposal of my remains:

-Please contact my close friends from high school. These people include: Melissa Brice, Amanda Cochran, Daniel Mondak, Christopher Grey, and Thomas Bisom. In the event you cannot contact all of them, please contact Melissa Brice and she will be able to get in touch with everyone else. A landline for her home address is 540-720-1133.

-Please contact Ray Plaza, ZBT Faculty Advisor. He will be able to send out an e-mail to everyone on the ZBT Listserv. His number is 540-641-1286.

-Please also make a posting on face book.com to let people know. My login is mcginnrp@vt.edu and password is *********.

-For my funeral service, I would like to be cremated. I would also like the song Big Sleep by Streetlight Manifesto to be played. The remaining details of the service are not entirely important. However, as for my remains, I would like my ashes to be spread at specific locations listed below by 4 individuals.

Of these individuals, I would like 2 of them to be from my high school friends listed above and 2 of them to be friends from ZBT. The following people from ZBT would be acceptable for this task:

-Hunter Rollings, Travis Grim, JJ Jayakser, David Shirley, Tyler Spillenkothen, Tom Maskell.

The following locations are places where I would like my ashes to be spread:

-Caldwell Fields, Blacksburg, VA

-Beckley, West Virginia (ZBT members will know location)

-Hillbilly Hot Dogs, Lesage, West Virginia

-Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming

-Craters of the Moon National Park, Idaho

-The Strawberry Wilderness, near John Day, Oregon

-Las Vegas Strip, Las Vegas, Nevada

-Largest Cross in the Western Hemisphere, Groom, Texas

-Grayton Beach State Park, Watercolor, Florida

Basically, I’m trying to get friends to travel to my favorite places, most of which occurred during my cross country road trip during August of 2009. I would like for these 4 people to travel together and any remaining money in my bank account to go towards this venture.

Regards,

Ryan Patrick McGinnis

Downfall of Humanity

I was in my car the other day, listening to the radio (I think it was 99.5, but it doesn’t really matter what the station was) and I heard the song “Tik Tok” by Kesha….sorry, Ke$sha. At the time, I didn’t know the name of the song, but I felt that it was imperative to find out in order to vent my frustration. For those of you haven’t heard this song, you can find it here The song has had success in the public eye, reaching number 1 on the Billboard Top 100. Ke$sha also has another song, at #7 called “Blah Blah Blah” which I also encourage you to look at because they are pretty graphic and appalling. These songs encompass what I believe is fundamentally wrong with today’s society. Today’s popular music does nothing for itself other than just make Western Civilization look materialistic, slutty, and stupid.  I like to imagine, every now and again, what aliens or people a 1000 years from now would think of when they look back at our generation and civilization; that there’s an archeological dig and someone finds a copy of Ke$ha’s latest album and information detailing that it was once the #1 song in America. What does that really say for us? What does it say when a 22 year old girl has lyrics that say “…now the dudes are lining up because they hear we have swagger, but we kick them to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger...” ?

Personally, I wish I had a DeLoren and a flux capacitor. I would go back to 1939 or 1940, enlist in the military, hang out with some flapper girls, and fight the Germans. I don’t care if I wouldn’t make it through the war (I’d prefer to, but it wouldn’t matter too much to me) because there would at least be something worth fighting for back during that time period. Back then, there was at least a way of life that people could at least come home to and be proud of. And if they weren’t content with that way of life, they could at least have the tools to fix it. If there was a draft today, I’m not sure what I’d do. Normally, I’d probably go and do my duty, but I’d constantly be questioning “why?” I understand that people have families that they are protecting, and I’m not knocking anyone who is currently serving in the military, but I don’t believe that there is anything truly worth saving in our current culture.

Society today encourages the “Club Culture” and that this is the ultimate niche of society to be in during your late teens and 20′s. That the place to be is in a loud, hot and smelly club teeming with guys who are overdosing on steroids and over-priced drinks while trying to fuck some girl who is dressing too slutty for her actual intentions. Clubs ought to just have people pick a number when they walk in and whoever has the same number is the person they’ll go home with. Clubs today are basically brothels, but not everyone gets lucky. This idea of the “Club Culture” extolls greed, waste, lust, gluttony…pretty much all of the 7 deadly sins (I’m not preaching Christianity either mind you).  This kind of lifestyle is being encouraged in television, music, and film and has replaced any idea of goodness or virtue in our civilization.

I’ve lost all faith in humanity. Our politicians and scientists are telling us that we’re at a tipping point. Either the world is going to continually  get shittier and shittier until most of the population is exterminated and we’ve developed a new Dark Ages, or else we can try and fix problems like the environment, the economy, poverty and hunger.  I don’t believe we can. I believe that our society has enocouraged this way of life based on greed, materialism, and waste and that no one is going to be willing enough to give it all up if it meant saving the world. I don’t believe that there is any point in us doing so if our Arts & Humanities of the 21st century are going to turn out more crap geared towards “Club Culture.” In order for us to even consider saving humanity, we have to find something far more worth while to save. If the world were to end today, tomorrow, or as close as 2012, I don’t think there would be any point in trying to save it.

I want you to get mad!

What is experience? “Do you have relevant work experience?” This is the subject that seems to distress the recent college graduate when they are applying for a job. I’ve recently been reading articles in the newspaper or hearing stories on T.V about college grads who can not find work, but I realized something that all these stories have in common: they’re being written by people with jobs and “experience.”

I am a recent college graduate from Virginia Tech. I have a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science and three minors in Legal Studies, Professional Writing, and Pop Culture. I held three officer positions in my fraternity, co-hosted a late night radio show, worked part-time, and started a charitable event for the Children’s Miracle Network. I’m currently unemployed all because I lack “experience.” Since I graduated in May, I’ve applied to over 60 jobs and have received a rejection letter from every one of them about how I am not qualified for the position.

I realize that my resume is not as strong as some people (I lack the luxurious and fabled internship that I heard so much about in college), but I thought that I would have been offered at least an interview, if not from my resume than by the law of averages. Yes, even getting an interview has been a monumental task and has perpetually eluded me even though I may meet the qualifying requirements for a job. But all in all, it seems that being a college grad and not having “experience” are the general reasons as to why I have not found work.

My college degree is working against me when throughout all my life; I was told that my degree would help me find a job. If I had known that this was the case, then I would not have busted my butt for four years: hundred of pages of essays and papers, thousands of pages of reading, all-nighter after all-nighter, and for what? “We regret to inform you that you are not one of the more qualified candidates for this position.”

I think the worst part about being a college graduate right now is not that we can not find a job leading to a career, but that it is even difficult to find a part-time job to help pay our bills and our student loans. Even though my work experience may not be entirely relevant for a career-type job (at least those hiring do not think so), I do have experience for part-time work. When I have been to interviews for jobs in retail or the service industry, I tell them how I worked for two years as a cashier at Giant and worked one year as a short order cook.
“Why did you leave your previous jobs?”
“Because I had to go back to college or because I graduated.”

WHOOPS! I just mentioned that I have a college degree during my part-time job interview. Now, my prior experience does not even matter because I am “over-qualified.” Interview over. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. For college grads, it’s literally like a game of Monopoly where the only exciting and worth-while place to land is “Free Parking.”

I know I sound like a broken record when being compared to the rest of today’s media telling us bout the “horrors of the recession,” and I realize that there are people out there having a harder time than myself. But the difference between the recent college graduate and the laid-off worker is “experience.” I have no idea how to get this Holy Grail of job qualification. I think that “experience” is just a notion made up by people in HR in order to give them job security.

When you look at it, every college graduate has experience doing something. We are capable of doing even the most menial of tasks. Anyone can be a Temp and file papers (which, by the way, requires two years of office & administrative experience), but not everyone is going to get hired or even be considered. You could just lie about your experience though. It worked for one of my friends and now he works for Homeland Security.

I’m tired of getting rejection letters. I’m tired of having people ask what I’m doing with my life and how things are going to get better. I’m tired of not being able to sleep at night because I don’t know what I’m going to do for tomorrow. I’m tired of being told I need more experience. How am I going to get any experience if no one is going to hire me?

To all the managers, CEO’s and lazy “experienced” workers who take their jobs for granted: be warned. The recent college graduate is out waiting for work and eager to just have a chance. But this hoarding of jobs that give experience is not going to do anyone any good; neither now or for future generations. Just know that “we’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take this anymore.”

How to handle seeing deer in suburbia without going ape shit

With it being Fall, there are a fairly large amount of deer wandering around Stafford, especially my neighborhood. I think there is at least a family of deer per street/section of my neighborhood, so there are well over 12 deer running around. Now most people who are driving along are most likely going to stop their car and do one of two things: (1) Stare and gawk or (2) shoot the deer.

I seriously doubt people are going to shoot the deer where I live, the reason being that they are female deer and have at least 1 or 2 fawns in tow. People here are more likely to shoot their neighbor for having their grass clippings end up in the road, or they’ll just put a lien on their house (I live in high-end-people-who-take-home-owner-associations-too-seriously kind of neighborhood in NOVA, if you can catch my drift).

Now, the other people are more likely to stare in the mini-vans, come to complete stop and hold up traffic. “Honey, wake up the kids, there are deer!” The kids, lazily asleep in the back seat don’t give a shit, but there’s an advent soccer mom who feels some sort of overwhelming pride when she sees the deer with their fawns and thinks she has her own “fawns” in the back seat of her van and feels “atuned” with nature because she had a moment. Atuned with nature my ass. The only thing nature about Stafford are the ponds/swamps left by construction companies. Then once the deer get across the road, she hits the gas and rolls over the one fawn that she didn’t see bringing up the rear. I’ve seen once if i’ve seen a hundred times (not really, but i felt the need to use that cliche).

Now, you’re probably wondering where this is all going. If there are only two options with how to approach passing deer, then why am Ii putting up a fuss? Because I have a third option: wave to the deer. Wave to them as if they’re your buddy or something. I’ve found myself doing it on evening walks and I feel it’s a nice gesture. I mean, think about it: how comfortable are you when you’re trying to eat at a restaurant and someone stops and stares at you while you’re trying to eat? You’re uncomfortable as shit. Now if that same person was trying to shoot you in an Applebee’s (which is all too likely around here these days) I’m sure you’d shit yourself.

So imagine if someone you knew just waved to you while you were trying to eat. It wouldn’t be super stressful and you’d prolly wave back and carry along with your personal business, and they would do the same. That’s pretty much what every deer has done when I’ve waved to them…well, they haven’t waved back, but im certainly waiting for the day when one finally does!

My point is don’t shoot at deer you see every day and don’t impede traffic during rush hour to stare at deer. Just give them a friendly wave and carry on with your day. You’ll feel happier and the deer will too….and so will the people driving behind you.

Re-inventing the Civil War

Have you ever noticed how there aren’t any short Civil War movies? If you think about it, most movies about the Civil War or during that time period are these long-winded epics that are usually two and half hours long if not more. Is there some sort of reason why these movies had to be so long? I’d like to see a version of Gone With the Wind where it just comes straight out and tells you that Scarlett is a little bitch. I really don’t see a reason why we have these movies or mini-series have to be so long. After looking it up on IMDB, the majority of films were well over 120 minutes. Maybe the reason the movies are so long is because we have to spend an even longer time to watch the battle scenes because everyone is using muzzle loaders. That or else there are these long drawn-out love stories and relationships which end up meaning next to nothing by the end of the film (take for example my favorite Civil War film,  Cold Mountain). It’s not like we’re seeing a film with slutty characters like Samantha Jones (I can feel my ovaries growing just mentioning her) or Nomi Malone from Showgirls. I would like to see a Civil War movie like that though; one that escapes the idealized romanticism of the era and imbues today’s values (or lack thereof) onto the screen.

Imagine having someone like Megan Fox playing a sassy Southern Belle or Christian Bale raising hell  and going commando in the Battle of Fredericksburg. Sure, the director would have to sacrifice their integrity, but it’d at least be something different. Hell, it worked for Quentin Tarantino with Inglorious Basterds. Maybe there does need to be a change in how we make and anticipate Civil War movies. We should be taking teen heart throbs and mediocre actors and putting them in front of the volleys of the Union soliders. I’d personally be okay with Paul Walker getting his legs blown off at the Battle of Antitem.

Better yet, they ought to just take an entirely new angle to the Civil War genre. Instead of making a long movie or an epic TV mini-series, why not make a new TV show all together. Rather,  just make a spin-off from a current successful series! Stargate: 1861. People traveling back in time with high powered rifles and technology and just blowing up the Confederacy. That or else they could have a reality show about Civil War Re-enactors and their personal strife with alcoholism and domestic abuse. Put it on A&E after an all new episode of “Intervention.”

Whatever it may be, I think it’s time for Hollywood to put away with the banality of super long Civil War movies, as if there’s some rule written about them being long. It’s about time we had fun with the genre as a whole and made something new out of it.